Negative thinking perpetuates depression, anxiety, and stress. We don’t believe everything we hear and see, so why would we believe every thought that goes through our heads? Following negative thought trails can send us down a rabbit hole that we don’t want to go down. It is “normal” to have negative thoughts, but we don’t have to accept them and sit in those negative emotions. Some believe that humans are predisposed to negative thinking. We can take back control with 3 steps.
1. RECOGNIZE AND BE AWARE OF NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
Catch the ones you can. We don’t have to catch them all. It’s like the episode of I Love Lucy and the conveyor belt. Lucy grabs the chocolates as they go by to wrap them, but when the belt goes too fast, she starts stuffing them in her mouth and in her shirt just to please the supervisor. Just as Lucy was not able to keep up with the chocolates, we’re not always able to keep up with our thoughts. Recognize them when you can and be happy when you do so.
2. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO THINK?
Most times we know what we don’t want and don’t want to think about, but we don’t always know what we DO want. If my negative thoughts are calling myself a failure or a loser, then maybe I think of things I like about myself.
3. CORRECT THE THOUGHTS WITH NEUTRAL OR POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
If we take the example of calling myself a failure or a loser, an example could be I’m proud of being a hard worker and a good person. I can say to myself, “I am a hard worker. I am a good person.”
These are the 3 main steps.
Here are the 3 bonus steps to make this stick!
4. SUPPORT POSITIVE SELF-TALK WITH PROOF AND JUSTIFICATION.
I can think of numerous times when I worked hard and how I felt good about it. I can also think of people I’ve helped and my moral compass to justify and give myself proof of believing that I am a good person. Choose to go down the positive rabbit holes.
5. WRITE DOWN THE POSITIVE THOUGHTS USING THE FIRST PERSON.
“I am a hard worker.” “I am a good person.” The research shows that writing things down helps us translate them more effectively to our brains. Did you rewrite your notes for school to study? Studies have proven that writing is even more effective than typing. However, having these positive self-talk statements written down in multiple places can be helpful. If we are overwhelmed or anxious, having these thoughts to read to ourselves can be very powerful, especially in these vulnerable moments. It can be hard to think and focus when overwhelmed and/or anxious so having it in writing is important.
6. MENTAL REHEARSAL OR REPEATING THE POSITIVE SELF-TALK OVER AND OVER, CAN OVERPOWER THE NEGATIVE THINKING.
Of course, it’s most effective when we believe the positive self-talk. Did you ever have to write “I will not _______” 100 times? Therefore, mental rehearsal can also be called mental training. Why not repeat over and over what we want to be telling ourselves? It’s the same concept of surrounding ourselves with positive social media and positive sayings. Hearing, seeing, and telling ourselves positive things releases positive chemicals in our brain, whereas negative thinking releases cortisol, the stress hormone, and other negative chemicals perpetuating negative thinking.
Through this process, we use the neuroplasticity of our brain by correcting the negative thinking pathways with the positive thinking pathways. By repeating this over and over again, we gradually create more of a positive brain pathway in hopes of decreasing the intensity and frequency of the negative pathway. It is a gradual process that takes time, but even after doing this consistently for a few weeks, we start to see small results. The longer we do it the bigger the results. Again, we have more control than we might think. Life is short. Start today! It is NEVER too late to start making our lives better!